Pundarika UK

Teachings from Rinpoche

Tsoknyi Rinpoche's Advice on how to Help those who are Approaching Death
Give the Gift of Prayer
The Six Bardos
Further Reading

How to Help those who are Approaching Death

Notes taken from Tsoknyi Rinpoche’s 2009 UK Retreat at Bruton Somerset.

There are methods through which we are able to use the Bardo teachings:

- for our own benefit
- to help our relatives and friends at the time of death
- to help our Dharma brothers and sisters.

We need to be skilful - skilled in means - when we seek to help those who are approaching death. It is most important that our own minds should be stable, stably resting in compassion, in emptiness and whatever practice we are doing. We should use all of the practices that we do, especially the practice in which we are most stable. With that stability of our minds in the practice we can help.

If the person wants to hear our words then we talk, otherwise we don’t. If the person wants to take some dharma medicine and blessings then we give, otherwise we don’t, and we should always be very careful not to create through our presence a situation in which thoughts like anger or resentment or any of the poisons arise, because the last thought with which a person dies is very important and conditions very much the next rebirth. It is important for the person to die in a happy state of mind so our talk also should lead them to experience that kind of happiness.

Our talk should go in accordance with their belief system. So if a person is a Muslim then whatever we say should not contradict the Muslim beliefs. The same if the person is Christian and so forth. The important point is that we can talk about anything - it does not need to be about religion. But our talk should not put them in conflict in such a way that they would generate negative thoughts, because that would harm them.

Now if the person is spiritual we can talk of spiritual things like compassion, loving kindness and other different spiritual aspects and especially we can talk about being detached. To die without any attachment to anything is very beneficial. These things will be understood by a spiritual person. It is also important to give hope at that point: how to be detached and also how they should generate loving kindness and die with a positive state of mind. We should give hope and tell them that actually mind does not cease at the moment of death but consciousness continues; the body is actually something which in some sense we have borrowed and now is the time to discard. We can advise the person to set their intention to be reborn in a heavenly place, if they believe in heaven, or if they believe in rebirth then to have a good rebirth through which they can benefit other beings and have a good life. So that all has to do with hope: the process of death is an opportunity for a better rebirth.

Now whether we are able to guide the person through the Bardo or not once the person is dead, that depends not so much on the person’s practice but it depends on our own – the strength of our own practice and our realisation. A yogi who has very high realisation and practice can definitely guide the person properly through the Bardo. If we don’t have so much strength of practice we might not be able to guide them through the Bardo but still we will definitely help them and benefit them by the way we are acting, especially at the time of death. If a person dies peacefully, it is said that consciousness in the Bardo will not experience many difficulties.

In the Tibetan culture we talk to people and remind them that actually because karma is coming to an end that is why they have to die. So the person would react and become completely definite and decide yes, this is karma and there is no other reason for it to happen. In the West I don’t know if that would be as useful as when we say these words to an Eastern person – to a Tibetan. They might ask ‘what is karma?’ Maybe it is a good opportunity to talk about it. We should also tell them that their life is complete, that they have had a good life, they have completed their life. Always in the sense of making them feel proud – we lived and are now proud to die.

If we don’t give explanations then for the person who is dying they take death as without meaning. That can be depressing but if we talk to them we say that is the nature of things because everything changes, everything is impermanent. The end of birth is death, the end of meeting is separation, the end of construction is destruction, and so forth. So that is the nature of things, and at this point the end of birth is that you are approaching death. And we point out that actually during their lives they had many times in which they were happy as well as times in which they were not happy. To expect that everything should be a happy experience does not really go with how things are. So to expect that would not be realistic. During life there are times of happiness, also times of being young, times in which you grow old and this time is the time for dying because that is the nature of things. That is natural law, so we cannot fight with that.

Now in the case of a Buddhist who is dying, it’s easier because we can talk to these people in a way in which it will be. We can again also tell them that this experience of this life is coming to an end because of impermanence and they will readily understand because they have already had teachings of the dharma. And then according to the teachings that they have been following our talk should go in accordance with whatever they have been practising. Because the main purpose of our talk at that point is to refresh in their minds their practice and the teachings they have received. That is mainly what we are trying to do. So take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, Sangha and merge their minds with Buddhamind, adjusting to their own tradition. For example if they are Theravadan then you talk in a way in which the practice of the Theravadan would be of benefit to that person .

The main point is that they would confront death with a lot of guts, a lot of security because they say, ‘Now I am dying and I am going to die well. I am going to have a good death. I am going to use this death process positively’. They can form that intention very strongly. If you really want to help the person you have to do your homework. You have to know how or what they are thinking, what they believe, what is their strength of practice. Please don’t say anything they have never heard before or they may have regrets.

So helping is not easy, but if you have compassion and determination then you will do it somehow. You just do some study of the person, of where their mind stands. If they have a very strong trust in Buddha, then talk about Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. And you find where is their stuck point. Maybe they are holding on to something. Maybe they are holding on to some loved ones, or possessions, or social ‘I’ still wanting to do something, so try to release those things. And guide them properly. This is very important I think otherwise the mind is still hanging on and then there is quite a lot of suffering.

Now in the case of a person who is not only a Buddhist and a practitioner but also practises the same things as we also practise - is a dharma brother or sister and we follow the same teachings/ the same practices - then our talk will also have many things in common with that person. There are many things that can be done at that point. In general then he or she would die surrounded by dharma brothers and sisters and also with the lama. They will do puja, they will accompany the whole process there to guide them through the different stages

So we could remind the person of the Bardo teachings (see separate article) different stages of dissolution and at that point give detailed explanations when earth dissolves into water, water into fire, and so forth. It’s possible that you or the dying person may have already practiced powa. If this is the case, when the outer breath ceases then at that point practise powa. If there are others around who have also practiced powa, then this can very helpful as that would assist the person eject consciousness more easily.

Just before dying you talk a little bit and then say ‘ah, ah, ah . . . remember natural mind’. Or you can read some teachings aloud – not a scary one such as the Bardo. Just like ‘recognise the mother luminosity, rest in rigpa, let it go’ - those things like ’come on, courage. Recognise rigpa, be stable and full confidence’. Then when they cease outer and inner breath you, the helper, rest in the nature of mind for a while – maybe half an hour, 45 minutes. After that you recite according to the tradition. In Tibet you would recite many aspiration prayers. There are many aspirations that are already translated so you can recite any.* If the dying person has a teacher then put a tape recorder with the sound of the teacher’s voice teaching dharma so that the person dies hearing that voice and teaching.

(*there are several in The Tibetan Book of the Dead' by Trungpa and Freemantle)

After the person has died

If you go by the book then the body should be left undisturbed for 3 days. But sometimes you cannot really keep the body for 3 days. And if you cannot do that, well maybe one day or even a few hours. If you are able to stay at least for half an hour or 45 minutes that would be good. Before you go make sure that things are really settled down.

If you have been given a specific yantra or chakra to put on the body then this is the time to place it on the heart. Otherwise you could place a dharma chant book, mala, picture of Rinpoche, or something spiritually significant. Liberation through wearing.

Then what do we do with the body? Burial or cremation are equally acceptable. Either way, leave the dharma objects secured in place for burual or cremation.

Every 7th day after death you do a special ceremony or special kind of virtuous action for their benefit. In the Tibetan tradition at each 7th day they do a special puja for the dead. Either the family calls monks, nuns or lamas to come to the home of the deceased person and do the puja there, or they send offerings to the monastery requesting puja for the benefit of tthe person. who died. (Please note that it is possible to have prayers done by Rinpoche’s nuns in Nepal . See below)

Give the Gift of Prayer

Compassionate prayers have the capacity to transform and heal our very being. You can have prayers offered by the Tsoknyi Lineage Nuns of Chobar and Chumig Gyatsa monasteries in Nepal for your friends, family, loved ones, yourself, and for those in crisis and need.
In order to access this facility, click on the following link www.pundarika.org/prayers.php

The Six Bardos

KYI-NE
Now when the bardo of birth is dawning upon me
I will abandon laziness for which life has no time,
Enter undistracted the path of study, reflection and meditation
Making projections and mind the path and realize the three kayas;
Now that I have once attained a human body
There is no time for the mind to wonder.

The bardo of this life, the bardo of birth. Co-existent with arising and birth is passing and death. On the subtle level everything is constantly momentarily arising and passing – moments, thoughts, emotions, events. On a more gross level, all the necessary conditions and circumstance come together for us to be born – conception and the accumulation of the five kinds of elements: earth, water, fire, wind and space. Since the moment we were born we are passing, our life moves towards completion then disappears. The idea of 70 or 80 years seems like a long time, but in terms of the universe it is very short. On the macrocosmic level is the arising and passing of planets and stars which support our life, which will also eventually disintegrate.

MILAM
Now when the bardo of dreams is dawning upon me
I will abandon the corpse-like sleep of careless ignorance,
And let my thoughts enter their natural state without distraction;
Controlling and transforming dreams in lumosity,
I will not sleep like any animal
But unify completely sleep and practice.

The bardo of dreams. The whole of cyclic existence is like a big dream – our ignorance is like sleeping and we are dreaming, but we take it so seriously. We grasp after all these things we see as real and this is where our suffering comes from. Our sleeping dreams reflect what is happening in our lives which is why we need to take our daytime practice seriously and continue being mindful and aware when going to sleep. If we do this then when we die it is the continuation of the nature of our mind. Our child luminosity will dissolve into the ground luminosity and we will be enlightened in the dharmakaya form.

SAMADHI
Now when the bardo of Samadhi-meditation dawns upon me
I will abandon the crowd of distractions and confusions
And rest in the boundless state without grasping or disturbance;
Firm in the two practices; visualization and completion,
At this time of meditation, one-pointed, free from activity,
I will not fall into the power of confused emotions.

The bardo of meditation. Here we are talking about purifying our mind of the cloud of disturbing thoughts and emotions, not by force but by resting in our natural mind, dharmakaya. Meditation isn’t something solid, or a place to go. It just means being aware in the present moment in a simple way and letting things be, which is actually quite difficult. Bardo literally means ‘between’, and in between the subsiding of one thought and the arising of the next, that is the bardo of Samadhi.

CHIKHA
Now when the bardo of the moment before death dawns upon me
I will abandon all grasping, yearning and attachment,
Enter undistracted into clear awareness of the teaching
And eject my consciousness into the space of unborn mind;
As I leave this compound body of flesh and blood
I will know it to be a transitory illusion.

The bardo of the moment before death. All our elements dissolve back to the external world – earth, water, fire then air as we stop breathing. At that point the inner dissolution begins. We can have many different experiences here, depending on the kind of life we have led. The important thing is to know, in the confusion of what is happening, that everything we see is a projection of ourselves, and that it is a vision of the bardo. In order to be able to do that, it is important to practice now. There is a glimpse of ground luminosity – if we can recognise this from the stability of our practice then there is an opportunity to achieve realization.

CHONYI
Now when the bardo of dharmata dawns upon me
I will abandon all thoughts of fear and terror,
I will recognise whatever appears as my own projection
And know it to be a vision of the bardo;
Now that I have reached this crucial point
I will not fear the peaceful and wrathful ones, my own projection.

The Bardo of dharmata. What happens now depends on individual circumstances. For a normal person dying peacefully this can last for a few days and we may not be aware we have died. The important thing is how we are programming ourselves in our lifetime, so that we can remain calm and clear and aware of what is happening. We should remember our teacher and any deity we feel a connection with.

SIPA
Now when the bardo of becoming dawns upon me
I will concentrate my mind one-pointedly
And strive to prolong the results of good karma,
Close the womb-entrance and think of resistance;
This is the time when perseverance and pure thought are needed,
Abandon jealousy and meditate on the guru with his consort.

The bardo of becoming. This can last 7 weeks and again, what happens depends on our karma and mind training. Pure perception and sacred outlook are needed here if we are not to get carried away by anger and jealousy which could lead to a birth in the lower realms. We are at the mercy of karmic winds and look for refuge wherever we can which leads to conception outside our control. If we can maintain our awareness there may be the opportunity to chose our rebirth in auspicious circumstances in the aspiration to help sentient beings.

TEACHINGS FROM RINPOCHE